My ex-partner earns 3 instances my wage and ‘demanded’ I pay 50% of our daughter’s medical payments. Is that truthful?


Share post:


Expensive Quentin,

I learn certainly one of your latest letters from a public-school trainer whose boyfriend who labored on Wall Avenue wished half the price of a trip once they broke up.

This dropped at thoughts my ex demanding that I pay half of our daughter’s uncovered medical invoice. He was making about thrice what I do.

So right here’s my query: When there’s an enormous disparity in pay — is 50% of dinner, mortgage, medical payments, trip, utilities and different shared bills justified? 

Wouldn’t a extra equitable answer be based mostly on revenue? If I make $50,000 and my associate makes $150,000, wouldn’t or not it’s equitable for me to pay 25%? 

I do know now that cash ought to be a part of a frank and sensible dialogue in any scenario, however I’m questioning what your take is on this. 

Mom Left Holding the Invoice

Expensive Rebecca,

There’s not often such a factor as “truthful” in a breakup, particularly in relation to funds. 

If one ex is paying alimony and little one assist, they might depart the wedding with years of lingering resentments over how a lot they must pay their ex. For a pair that had a baby collectively, and didn’t get married, the problem is extra sophisticated however the absent mother or father is compelled by the legislation to pay little one assist. In that case, little one assist pertains to the accountability for elevating a baby. 

For folks who by no means married, it’s tougher to argue that you need to solely pay medical payments to your little one in proportion to your incomes. Normally, you’ll leverage your little one assist to pay for such bills and/or — when applicable — ask your former associate to pay their share. In the event you had been married and divorced, the divorce decree ought to specify how a lot cash every former partner ought to pay for his or her little one’s training, residing bills and medical payments. 

Katie Carter, a divorce legal professional with the Hofheimer Household Legislation Agency in Virginia, has opinions on this challenge: “In a lot of agreements, I discover that opposing counsel (particularly when the husband earns extra) will attempt to embody that the events will break up the unreimbursed medical bills 50/50,” she writes. “However that’s not the legislation. The legislation says that the events will break up unreimbursed medical bills professional rata – that’s, proportionally, based mostly on their incomes.”

Backside line: “If he earns 80% of the revenue, he pays 80% of the unreimbursed medical bills, she provides. “I might solely ever comply with a 50/50 break up if the events’ incomes had been equal, or if a pro-rata break up would imply that my shopper would pay extra of the bills. Once more, it’s necessary to take a look at these numbers. Even when the excellence is just 60/40, it will probably make an enormous distinction if there’s (heaven forbid!) a catastrophic accident or a nasty analysis of some sort.”

I’d hate to consider any marriage the place the next incomes partner nickel-and-dimed their associate, forcing them to cough up 50% of a trip or dinner, however these are all good conversations to have forward of time. If each companions are working and you may afford a bigger dwelling as a result of the husband or spouse earns thrice their partner’s wage, it will appear churlish to anticipate each companions to separate the mortgage or dinner out 50/50. However some folks like to depend!

Yocan electronic mail The Moneyist with any monetary and moral questions at, and comply with Quentin Fottrell on Twitter.

Take a look at the Moneyist non-public Fb group, the place we search for solutions to life’s thorniest cash points. Readers write in to me with all kinds of dilemmas. Publish your questions, inform me what you wish to know extra about, or weigh in on the most recent Moneyist columns.

The Moneyist regrets he can’t reply to questions individually.

Extra from Quentin Fottrell:

I wish to rescue him from his ‘tiny’ 800-square-foot residence. Ought to I purchase him a house, and have him signal a promissory be aware?

‘I don’t use money’: I’m 70 and my house is paid off. I reside off Social Safety, and I exploit a bank card for all my spending. Is that dangerous?

‘I really feel very harm’: My late spouse’s dad and mom reduce me out of their will — and decreased my daughter’s inheritance. We’re being punished after I remarried. What will we do?


Supply hyperlink


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here


Related articles

Music labels sue nonprofit Internet Archive for copyright infringement

Sony Music Entertainment and five other major music companies sued the non-profit Internet Archive, saying that its posting...

Best outdoor tech deal: HD Digital Camera Binoculars on sale for $122

TL;DR: As of August 12, you can get HD Digital Camera Binoculars for only $121.99 instead of...

Prepared for a stock market rally? The FTSE 100 could top 9,000 within a year!

Proceed with caution While a potential 26% upside is indeed appealing, investors should exercise caution. Prudent...

SolarEdge is among most oversold stocks in S&P 500. Here are others

After slumping 38% this year, shares of SolarEdge Technologies are looking to bounce back, at least according...